Tag Archives: priest problems

One month to go until the wedding! A ton of stuff to do

9 Jun

Our wedding is officially one month away!

Here’s a list of things we still have to do:

  • Put first and last month’s rent down for apartment
  • Book videographer
  • Figure out photo permits
  • Go to Catholic marriage camp 
  • Choose between violin/harp or organ for ceremony
  • Call chair cover place
  • Decoration times: find out from hall
  • Decoration times: find out from church
  • Order centrepieces
  • Bbook salon test
  • Choose music and readings
  • Write speeches and ask others to do it too
  • Find shoes/veil/bridesmaids shoes
  • Make cards for wishing tree and get branches
  • Make schedule for day of
  • Print menus
  • Make placecards
  • Buy candles
  • Buy more twinkle lights
  • Book honeymoon
  • Hold bachelorette
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Seriously? You lost our papers. Fix it. We can’t deal with it

6 Jun

So remember that appointment that took 4 months to get with the Catholic Church?

Might as well have never happened. They lost our papers.

Now they want us to head there at 3 p.m. on a weekday. Like regular people, we work. How is this going to happen? How DID this happen? Why is it so hard for these people? Luckily they didn’t lose our marriage licence or there’d be hell to pay.

So seriously, how am I going to do this? We BOTH have to go. Fiance lives in another city.

This weekend he is in Boston for his rescheduled bachelor party.

The weekend after that we are going to the Catholic marriage preparation course. I had to give up the bachelorette party I wanted to do this requirement and they won’t marry us unless we do this.

The weekend after that is my second choice bachelorette party.

The weekend after that we move into our new place.

The weekend after that is our wedding.

Please, church, are you going to pay me to take a day off work because you couldn’t figure out our paperwork that it took you months to even do?

Looks like I have to cancel that bachelorette now. Who loses again!? It’s bridezilla.

And I was so excited that we were almost done the major things and I was going to be picking up my dress tomorrow.

Church approves our wedding. Good. Other locations sucked

23 Mar

Exterior shot of our church. Forgot to take photo inside

I make a lot of phone calls in my line of work. I know that the key to getting a hold of someone is to treat their secretary with respect. If you were a secretary, would you connect the rude person or the one that was nice to you?

They hold a lot of power. And can screw you royally.

So as you may know, we’ve been having trouble with the Catholic Church confirming that we could get married there. We had tried to call the priest for four months to find out details, but he never returned our calls.

We met with the priest in person on Sunday. And he is totally cool. He said we can do whatever we want and didn’t scold us for not going to church or demand that we go every week forevermore. “It’s your wedding, make it your own,” was his quote. All that worry for nothing! Dude would let us parade in on elephants if we wanted to. Ok, not really, but you get my point.

The priest said the church changed secretaries recently. When we called back in December, the secretary had told us she pencilled in our day and that the priest would write it in ink once we met with him. Well priest took out the day planner and the entire page was blank! Someone could’ve taken our date! We think our file or something got lost during the secretary switch, which explains why they never returned our calls, because they had no clue who we were.

Anyway, priest said we’re good to go. His only condition is that we go to marriage school. Essentially, the Catholic Church requires you to learn divorce prevention skills. My cousin took this course and said it is non religious at all. Of course, the seemingly mandatory “one year wedding wait” strikes again, as we have to wait until June to do our crash course on a weekend.

So total bill for church rental and course will be about $800, MUCH less than the $1,400 for two hours at a depressing mansion and old school chap we visited over the weekend when we were searching for alternate locations. We didn’t like either of them…

Here’s some pictures so you get what I mean

The mansion we examined for our ceremony. Looks fine outside

But here’s the pleasant greeting you get as soon as you walk in

The depressing, dungeon-like entrance way. A nice welcome to our joyous event!

An old chapel

An old chapel that looks kind of plain on the outside

But the inside looks like a school house from a pioneer movie

I also don't like the "Come ye apart." Aren't weddings the opposite of that?

Anyway, we both thought these suck. Our banquet hall’s garden looks fine, but it is on the side of a very busy road and near the airport so has tons and tons of noise.

You can’t hear the noise in the pictures, but at least it looks nice.

A gazebo in the garden of our banquet hall

And a pretty bridge

Would be perfect for the "here comes the bride" part

So anyway folks, glad this has sorted itself out and we can sleep without having to worry anymore.

Now we can buy our invitations and move onto other headaches!

Church wedding and missing priest update: Is this a sign?

17 Mar

Is a beautiful church wedding for us meant to be?

So I got a hold of the missing priest’s secretary. BTW, the fact that we don’t have a confirmed ceremony location 3 months before our wedding is still not funny. Don’t know why she and everyone else is laughing.

Asked her what the priest’s schedule was (so we can talk to him when he’s actually there instead of just leaving messages all the time)…

She of course wanted to know why I would possibly want to know such classified information. Wonder if the FBI’s got a hold of it?

Anyway we have an appointment for Sunday morning which means non-religious fiance has to go to mass. And has to wake up early. On his birthday, no less! We’ll see what happens.

But here’s another thing that makes me wonder if this whole church wedding is not meant to be:

I have to order a brand new copy of my baptism certificate. The original (which I have), isn’t allowed for some reason. Conveniently, the new one costs $10. Cash grab much?

Anyway, the church where I was baptized no longer exists. And the church that took over their files? It’s the one we went to for help, where the priest sent us away. lol.

All of this is on top of how crazy difficult it is to get a hold of the original guy who promised he would marry us.

Is this a sign, folks?

EDIT: my friend just told me about how a priest refused to give her dying grandfather’s last rights because the priest was “too busy.” Her grandfather wanted to be cremated (against church tradition, which is burial).

Ceremony plan is screwed. Do you have to be a jerk too?

14 Mar

Sometimes a song says everything you need to say. Ha!

So remember our priest is missing?

Now we’re scrambling to find an alternate location for our ceremony so we can order our invitations and mail them.

Of course, as I predicted, every other location we’ve considered so far is BOOKED but we’re going down the list. Coworker suggested the United Church. They accept everyone. I went to two United Churches today. Locked.

My mom suggests our neighbour who is an Anglican minister. We might ask him to do it, but he’s been very sick so probably not a good idea.

Anyway, here’s a business tip to people dealing with disappointed/annoyed/stressed/screwed couples:

When someone calls you with “OMG my venue screwed me, people say you’re great. Are you available on this day?” Don’t laugh at me when you tell me you’re full. How do you confuse panic and frustration with a joke? How is our problem funny? We put down a lot of money for this wedding. We can’t delay it.

Telling me that my 20 minute ceremony at 2 p.m. would anger the bride coming in at 4 p.m. is not helping. Telling me that that bride would “stomp her feet” if you dared even ask her to allow such a horrible thing is worse. Just say you’re full. That’s it.

At least she can have a ceremony at all!!

So Berkley Church venue dude, after you laugh at my geniune stress, when I am being 1,000% serious, do you really think I’ll take your suggestion of holding our wedding in your garden?  And you think I’d pay $1,700 for it? You’re crazy. Please watch the above video.

Essentially rejected by the Catholic church!!!!

13 Mar

This is me in front of the Vatican. Priests are making it impossible for us to get married in the Catholic church

!!!!!!!!!!!!! Long but worth it!!!

Our priest is missing in action. And another one judges us. Not the way to keep people coming back, dear Catholic church.

We booked our banquet hall in Nov/Dec. We called a priest at the church I went to throughout high school. We wanted to make sure our wedding day was available before putting down the banquet hall deposit. My fiance is an atheist, but knew I wanted to be married in a church, so finally agreed to get married in a church after a bit of convincing. But we said it wouldn’t be a mass so non-Catholics don’t feel excluded.

Priest’s secretary said there was space on our day so we put down the banquet hall deposit. Priest said to call him back after Christmas because he was busy. He has been M-I-A since. We called a few times in January, couldn’t get a hold of him. Called in February, said we’d have to meet him on Sunday (He called on Saturday) because he was leaving for a trip. My friend who had drive 4 hours from another city was in town, and I couldn’t cancel on her only hours before.

Then I got the flu and bronchitis and a cold, so I was locked in my home for about 3 weeks while he was on vacation (Still recovering). Called priest this Friday. No answer. Remember, this is FOUR MONTHS after we first tried to make contact.

Here we are 3.5 months before our wedding. We have to order and mail invitations!!!! We can’t do this until we cement our ceremony time and go to a Catholic marriage prep course (essentially conflict resolution camp). So we can’t mail. This is jeopardizing our guest list! We have family coming from France, Italy and Switzerland. We planned on mailing our invitations four months in advance. Now we’re not even gonna get two months. Will take mail two weeks to even get to Switzerland…The guests will be here before they even get an invitation.

We went to another church today. We pleaded with the priest there to marry us. When we told him our wedding is in July, he got this judgmental tone and said we should’ve come to him a YEAR in advance. Our engagement isn’t even a year long. We’ve been together four years. Excuse us for not wanting to wait anymore. Priest told us to make an appointment later this week. Even though we’re standing in front of him, after the last mass of the day that fiance sat through even though he doesn’t care. Priest wouldn’t even check whether the church is available on our wedding date. Said we just have to come on a weekday to find out. It doesn’t matter that my fiance works a two hour drive away, and can’t get back into the city until 7:30 p.m. on a weeknight.

Our last resort is going to be my cousin’s best friend. A young guy, about 30, who just became a priest. His church is out in the countryside, so we can’t go there, but we hope that he can help us navigate the city priests. Yes, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO CALL IN FAVOURS if you want to get married in a Catholic church.

I’ve been a good Catholic. We didn’t live together before marriage and we’re good people. We were ready to take your marriage prep course. What was the point of being a good Catholic if you don’t even want to marry us, dear Catholic church.

So I think I need to change religions. I spent all this time convincing fiance to get married in the church, now the church sends us away. Protestantism looks pretty good right now. My neighbour is an Anglican minister, but he’s very very sick. Otherwise we’d get him to do it. Other religions would love to have new members, I’m sure.

If asking a Catholic priest who is a friend of my family to pull strings doesn’t work, we’re stuck finding another place for our wedding ceremony. Frankly, a non-religious location is looking better and better right now. But good luck. Everyone’s stupid “one year rule” waiting period makes it hard to do anything. And every place is going to be booked. Maybe the community centre will be free. They could squeeze in our ceremony between a yoga class and mommy-and-me swimming.

This is why we tried to take care of stuff months and months ago. So we wouldn’t have this situation. Thanks for nothing!!!!!! Realistically, I bet we’re going to have to do our ceremony at our banquet hall (which I really, really, really don’t want. It is so far from my house and I really wanted to take pictures in my neighbourhood. That’s not going to happen now either).

For a church losing members, with increasingly bad publicity, you’d think they’d be jumping up and down, salivating over ANYONE even remotely interested in being married there. Instead they put up ridiculous barriers that are actually jeopardizing our wedding. You’ve turned me off Catholic church. No longer interested.

The only reason we’re calling in the favour now is just so we can have ANY venue at all where we can have our ceremony.

Some way of making people want to stay.

I took this picture when I saw the Pope in Rome in 2009.