This is me in front of the Vatican. Priests are making it impossible for us to get married in the Catholic church
!!!!!!!!!!!!! Long but worth it!!!
Our priest is missing in action. And another one judges us. Not the way to keep people coming back, dear Catholic church.
We booked our banquet hall in Nov/Dec. We called a priest at the church I went to throughout high school. We wanted to make sure our wedding day was available before putting down the banquet hall deposit. My fiance is an atheist, but knew I wanted to be married in a church, so finally agreed to get married in a church after a bit of convincing. But we said it wouldn’t be a mass so non-Catholics don’t feel excluded.
Priest’s secretary said there was space on our day so we put down the banquet hall deposit. Priest said to call him back after Christmas because he was busy. He has been M-I-A since. We called a few times in January, couldn’t get a hold of him. Called in February, said we’d have to meet him on Sunday (He called on Saturday) because he was leaving for a trip. My friend who had drive 4 hours from another city was in town, and I couldn’t cancel on her only hours before.
Then I got the flu and bronchitis and a cold, so I was locked in my home for about 3 weeks while he was on vacation (Still recovering). Called priest this Friday. No answer. Remember, this is FOUR MONTHS after we first tried to make contact.
Here we are 3.5 months before our wedding. We have to order and mail invitations!!!! We can’t do this until we cement our ceremony time and go to a Catholic marriage prep course (essentially conflict resolution camp). So we can’t mail. This is jeopardizing our guest list! We have family coming from France, Italy and Switzerland. We planned on mailing our invitations four months in advance. Now we’re not even gonna get two months. Will take mail two weeks to even get to Switzerland…The guests will be here before they even get an invitation.
We went to another church today. We pleaded with the priest there to marry us. When we told him our wedding is in July, he got this judgmental tone and said we should’ve come to him a YEAR in advance. Our engagement isn’t even a year long. We’ve been together four years. Excuse us for not wanting to wait anymore. Priest told us to make an appointment later this week. Even though we’re standing in front of him, after the last mass of the day that fiance sat through even though he doesn’t care. Priest wouldn’t even check whether the church is available on our wedding date. Said we just have to come on a weekday to find out. It doesn’t matter that my fiance works a two hour drive away, and can’t get back into the city until 7:30 p.m. on a weeknight.
Our last resort is going to be my cousin’s best friend. A young guy, about 30, who just became a priest. His church is out in the countryside, so we can’t go there, but we hope that he can help us navigate the city priests. Yes, YOU ACTUALLY HAVE TO CALL IN FAVOURS if you want to get married in a Catholic church.
I’ve been a good Catholic. We didn’t live together before marriage and we’re good people. We were ready to take your marriage prep course. What was the point of being a good Catholic if you don’t even want to marry us, dear Catholic church.
So I think I need to change religions. I spent all this time convincing fiance to get married in the church, now the church sends us away. Protestantism looks pretty good right now. My neighbour is an Anglican minister, but he’s very very sick. Otherwise we’d get him to do it. Other religions would love to have new members, I’m sure.
If asking a Catholic priest who is a friend of my family to pull strings doesn’t work, we’re stuck finding another place for our wedding ceremony. Frankly, a non-religious location is looking better and better right now. But good luck. Everyone’s stupid “one year rule” waiting period makes it hard to do anything. And every place is going to be booked. Maybe the community centre will be free. They could squeeze in our ceremony between a yoga class and mommy-and-me swimming.
This is why we tried to take care of stuff months and months ago. So we wouldn’t have this situation. Thanks for nothing!!!!!! Realistically, I bet we’re going to have to do our ceremony at our banquet hall (which I really, really, really don’t want. It is so far from my house and I really wanted to take pictures in my neighbourhood. That’s not going to happen now either).
For a church losing members, with increasingly bad publicity, you’d think they’d be jumping up and down, salivating over ANYONE even remotely interested in being married there. Instead they put up ridiculous barriers that are actually jeopardizing our wedding. You’ve turned me off Catholic church. No longer interested.
The only reason we’re calling in the favour now is just so we can have ANY venue at all where we can have our ceremony.
Some way of making people want to stay.
I took this picture when I saw the Pope in Rome in 2009.