Tag Archives: bridezilla

Weddings: even if you’re nice, people make you feel bad

5 Jul

Me to friend who plans on waking up at 5:30 a.m., driving a long way to get to the wedding and then leaving as soon as dinner is over, which means we won’t even get to talk to each other for five minutes.

“My suggestion is you should sleep in so that you can stay at the reception longer. We’re going to leave the ceremony very quickly or we won’t get pictures. I would love to see you but won’t if you leave the reception early. I understand that you can’t come to the rehearsal, because it will cost you a lot with your new mortgage. Let me know what you want to do.”

Her reply: “I am being accomodating, I am spending a lot of money on my mortgage and your wedding is costing me a lot of money.” She actually wrote that she is trying to give, give, give, but its not enough?!?!  God forbid you are driving all this way, so you probably want to see us, and am letting you know how to make it happen!

What does this cost have to do with me suggesting you come later instead of waking up at 5:30 a.m?  How does my suggestion ask you to spend money or spend extra time? My email suggested you get MORE sleep and said nothing about you spending money. My email was ONLY about actually SEEING you.

That’s the last time I try to help ANYONE.

Dear every single person on the planet: I am not your personal dumping ground, I have enough shit to worry about, including trying to make you and the other guests happy. Thanks for whining, now move along!


Babies messing up the wedding guest list

4 Jul

Note to everyone:

Don’t have your wedding in July. Too many babies born. I’m not exaggerating when I say that TEN people have cancelled on us because their babies were born early and they don’t want to come to the wedding with newborns, even though we’ve insisted they are welcome.

So don’t have your wedding in July so that you won’t get blindsided.

It makes me sad because someone I’ve been friends with for 15+ years isn’t coming now because she’s scared her week-old baby will cry and disrupt everything.  Sure I’m happy she’s having a baby, but I’m sad that she won’t be around at our wedding. 😦

One week left and wedding dress is too big!

1 Jul

There are 7 days to go until our wedding!

Just tried on my wedding dress today. Its a corset back. But its too big. It keeps slipping downward, making way too much of my boob exposed than I am confortable with. 

My mom has tried to tie the corset tighter, but the two edges are already touching. There is no more fabric left to squeeze it any tighter. What do I do?  Help!

Wedding vendors! Call the heck back!

24 Jun

I am chasing down two wedding vendors, 14 days before my wedding. I have to work too, by the way. I don’t get lunch breaks to go ram down people’s doors.

Collectively, these vendors are costing us $5,000.

Both of them said to call them 2 weeks before the wedding to finalize details. I’ve been calling them for a week. I don’t care if its wedding high season, you should’ve told me to call you before two weeks if you knew you’d be overwhelmed. We still have to organize other crap depending on what you say! We don’t have a wedding planner. We’re not made of money and you took a sizeable chunk of it.

Where’s the customer service?! If someone gave me $5Gs, I’d be making them dinner and shining their shoes to make sure they’d be happy.

You should be ashamed of yourselves for taking money and then disappearing. How are we supposed to know if you’re even showing up at our wedding if you don’t answer your phone?

I chase people down on the phone for a living and am used to people not calling me back, but I have never dealt with anything like the smug, entitled attitude of the wedding industry.  Have some common courtesy and customer service sense. Happy customers spread the word to all their friends.

Regret not sending a wedding invitation: What do I do?

22 Jun

I was best friends with someone for five years. She had planned her “trip” to Vancouver for months. Then 3 days before, she told me “oh, by the way, I’m never coming back.”  I haven’t really spoken to her since, other than small talk on Facebook. It really hurt me that someone would disappear, move 2,600 miles away from Toronto, and not give their best friend any kind of notice. I have feelings you know. It was pretty hard for her to suddenly vanish and I didn’t know how to handle it. 

A couple of months ago, after about a year with minimal contact, I sent her a business suggestion. She sent me an email saying she “kind of” missed me. This made me feel worse. I didn’t invite her to the wedding. Now with two weeks to go, I regret it. She had been my friend for so long. We would have lunch together about three times a week, spend Saturdays together, hold sleepovers, even as 22-year-olds. I’d take the regional train to go visit her out in suburbia. I don’t do that for just anyone!

I don’t want her to be blindsided when she sees the wedding photos posted on Facebook (we didn’t update our “engaged” status). And I do feel like inviting her now, because she was my best friend for so many years. But I feel that with her living on the other side of the country, and always having money troubles, that she wouldn’t have come anyway. And it’s too late for her now to buy a plane ticket and book accomodations, etc.

What do I do?

You cost thousands. Have the courtesy to hit the reply button!

22 Jun

Adding to my long to-do list:

Chasing after our photographer team.

Dude said he’d call us two weeks before the wedding to figure out our photo permits and “must take” pictures. Well I had to call him. And now he’s not answering. It’s been three days. Give us the freaking courtesy of replying when we have to call city hall and beat other people to permit time slots.

Inappropriate songs for ring bearers at wedding reception!

21 Jun

So we were picking songs to play for each couple as the wedding party walks in at the reception.

That was pretty easy. Then it was time for our two ring boys. Our rule is that we want songs that are uppity and fun.

EDIT: Their mom suggested “I like to move it, move it” from Madagascar. We used it at the wedding and it was so cute!

We looked around on the Internet a bit, and looked at some of their suggestions for adults. They were hilariously inappropriate for kids.

Then we got carried away. Here’s some upbeat, but inappropriate songs to play as kids enter a wedding reception.

The other ones are pretty obvious, but the name on this one is deceiving. Kids love playing with paper planes. But do they like to get high or commit armed robbery? Play this song and I think so!

MIA- Paper Planes. Highlights include “all I wanna do is *bang bang bang bang bang* and take your money.”

Justin Timberlake – SexyBack: Highlights include: “Dirty babe. You see these shackles baby? I’m your slave. I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave.”

Cee Lo Green – Fuck you.  Highlights:- Nuff said.

Wanna go tame-ish, but still horrify grandma or great aunt Mable?

The Killers- Mr. Brightside. Highlights include “Now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick, and its all in my head.But she’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now.”

And the icing on the cake. Groom vetoed this one. Hahahaha.

Sir Mix A lot – Baby Got Back. Highlights include: “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hon!”