Weddings: even if you’re nice, people make you feel bad

5 Jul

Me to friend who plans on waking up at 5:30 a.m., driving a long way to get to the wedding and then leaving as soon as dinner is over, which means we won’t even get to talk to each other for five minutes.

“My suggestion is you should sleep in so that you can stay at the reception longer. We’re going to leave the ceremony very quickly or we won’t get pictures. I would love to see you but won’t if you leave the reception early. I understand that you can’t come to the rehearsal, because it will cost you a lot with your new mortgage. Let me know what you want to do.”

Her reply: “I am being accomodating, I am spending a lot of money on my mortgage and your wedding is costing me a lot of money.” She actually wrote that she is trying to give, give, give, but its not enough?!?!  God forbid you are driving all this way, so you probably want to see us, and am letting you know how to make it happen!

What does this cost have to do with me suggesting you come later instead of waking up at 5:30 a.m?  How does my suggestion ask you to spend money or spend extra time? My email suggested you get MORE sleep and said nothing about you spending money. My email was ONLY about actually SEEING you.

That’s the last time I try to help ANYONE.

Dear every single person on the planet: I am not your personal dumping ground, I have enough shit to worry about, including trying to make you and the other guests happy. Thanks for whining, now move along!

2 Responses to “Weddings: even if you’re nice, people make you feel bad”

  1. City Gal by the River February 6, 2012 at 3:15 pm #

    I found this blog on a google search. You are so right on with RUDE people when you are dealing with a wedding. Originally our wedding was going to be a Sunday afternoon brunch because we wanted to keep costs down. I had one friend who COMPLAINED that having it on a Sunday was an inconvenience to her. Then demanded I invite one of her friends who isn’t my friend and is someone I basically can’t stand and even complained when I invited her a YEAR out that the trip from Chicago to Detroit was too much of an expense and still went on and on even after I offered to let her stay at my house. It’s a stressful time enough without “friends” and sometimes family acting a fool.

    • unhappy bride February 7, 2012 at 2:22 pm #

      I agree. So sorry my one and only wedding is inconvenient to you. Ugh. I get that going to weddings is expensive. We live in Toronto and went to a wedding near Washington, D.C. and it was pretty expensive, but we did not complain because we actually care about the people who got married!! If you don’t want to come, don’t. Nobody is forcing you. Just say “sorry, I can’t afford to come, wish I could be there.” People told us this and we thought it was fine! But don’t whine about it to me just to make me feel bad.

      It if makes you feel better, you will be shocked by the amount of people who will move heaven and earth to come to your wedding. We had people come from Chicago, California, Vancouver, Switzerland, Italy and France! It was amazing.

      I haven’t spoken to this “friend” since the wedding. Ignored her texts and emails. etc. She is totally clueless which I feel bad about, but I don’t want to start a fight explaining why. Weddings totally show you who your friends are, and at least you will be able to cut the unnecessaries out of your life and focus on people who truly care!

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