Archive | June, 2011

How to lose potential wedding customers

28 Jun

I sent someone an email May 30th.

Got a reply on June 27. There’s only 10 days left until my wedding. I’ve probably found someone by now lol


Wedding vendors! Call the heck back!

24 Jun

I am chasing down two wedding vendors, 14 days before my wedding. I have to work too, by the way. I don’t get lunch breaks to go ram down people’s doors.

Collectively, these vendors are costing us $5,000.

Both of them said to call them 2 weeks before the wedding to finalize details. I’ve been calling them for a week. I don’t care if its wedding high season, you should’ve told me to call you before two weeks if you knew you’d be overwhelmed. We still have to organize other crap depending on what you say! We don’t have a wedding planner. We’re not made of money and you took a sizeable chunk of it.

Where’s the customer service?! If someone gave me $5Gs, I’d be making them dinner and shining their shoes to make sure they’d be happy.

You should be ashamed of yourselves for taking money and then disappearing. How are we supposed to know if you’re even showing up at our wedding if you don’t answer your phone?

I chase people down on the phone for a living and am used to people not calling me back, but I have never dealt with anything like the smug, entitled attitude of the wedding industry.  Have some common courtesy and customer service sense. Happy customers spread the word to all their friends.

Regret not sending a wedding invitation: What do I do?

22 Jun

I was best friends with someone for five years. She had planned her “trip” to Vancouver for months. Then 3 days before, she told me “oh, by the way, I’m never coming back.”  I haven’t really spoken to her since, other than small talk on Facebook. It really hurt me that someone would disappear, move 2,600 miles away from Toronto, and not give their best friend any kind of notice. I have feelings you know. It was pretty hard for her to suddenly vanish and I didn’t know how to handle it. 

A couple of months ago, after about a year with minimal contact, I sent her a business suggestion. She sent me an email saying she “kind of” missed me. This made me feel worse. I didn’t invite her to the wedding. Now with two weeks to go, I regret it. She had been my friend for so long. We would have lunch together about three times a week, spend Saturdays together, hold sleepovers, even as 22-year-olds. I’d take the regional train to go visit her out in suburbia. I don’t do that for just anyone!

I don’t want her to be blindsided when she sees the wedding photos posted on Facebook (we didn’t update our “engaged” status). And I do feel like inviting her now, because she was my best friend for so many years. But I feel that with her living on the other side of the country, and always having money troubles, that she wouldn’t have come anyway. And it’s too late for her now to buy a plane ticket and book accomodations, etc.

What do I do?

You cost thousands. Have the courtesy to hit the reply button!

22 Jun

Adding to my long to-do list:

Chasing after our photographer team.

Dude said he’d call us two weeks before the wedding to figure out our photo permits and “must take” pictures. Well I had to call him. And now he’s not answering. It’s been three days. Give us the freaking courtesy of replying when we have to call city hall and beat other people to permit time slots.

Inappropriate songs for ring bearers at wedding reception!

21 Jun

So we were picking songs to play for each couple as the wedding party walks in at the reception.

That was pretty easy. Then it was time for our two ring boys. Our rule is that we want songs that are uppity and fun.

EDIT: Their mom suggested “I like to move it, move it” from Madagascar. We used it at the wedding and it was so cute!

We looked around on the Internet a bit, and looked at some of their suggestions for adults. They were hilariously inappropriate for kids.

Then we got carried away. Here’s some upbeat, but inappropriate songs to play as kids enter a wedding reception.

The other ones are pretty obvious, but the name on this one is deceiving. Kids love playing with paper planes. But do they like to get high or commit armed robbery? Play this song and I think so!

MIA- Paper Planes. Highlights include “all I wanna do is *bang bang bang bang bang* and take your money.”

Justin Timberlake – SexyBack: Highlights include: “Dirty babe. You see these shackles baby? I’m your slave. I’ll let you whip me if I misbehave.”

Cee Lo Green – Fuck you.  Highlights:- Nuff said.

Wanna go tame-ish, but still horrify grandma or great aunt Mable?

The Killers- Mr. Brightside. Highlights include “Now they’re going to bed and my stomach is sick, and its all in my head.But she’s touching his chest now, he takes off her dress now.”

And the icing on the cake. Groom vetoed this one. Hahahaha.

Sir Mix A lot – Baby Got Back. Highlights include: “My anaconda don’t want none unless you got buns hon!”

How to weed out “friends” from your wedding

19 Jun

Your wedding helps you find out who your real friends are!

Me: “Hey, We have to give final numbers from the banquet hall soon, and you haven’t told us if you’re coming to the wedding or not.

Her: “Unfortunately, I did not receive your invite. Thank you for inviting me to be a part of your big day but I will not be able to attend.”

Thanks, friend of 10 years for copying and pasting an answer from some etiquette website, because I know how you talk, and you never talk like that. Glad to know you’re not coming to my wedding because your invite got lost during a postal strike. Do you feel snubbed or something?

Dear wedding magazine: $2,800 on invites is not worth it

16 Jun

Dear wedding magazine:

Sure Viewmaster invitations are pretty cool.

They’d be fun to have as wedding invitations. But life’s not fair.

Don’t think a whole lot of people would think that $2,800 would be worth spending on invitations, when you can buy two photographers on that.

So no, it’s not “worth the splurge.” And don’t forget to add the cost of mailing that thing.

Wedding magazines are so unrealistic.

Be smart and make the invitations yourself, or go through a local company. Or get $20 off a $100 purchase at Wedding Paper Divas.