I got bridesmaids…how to deal with dress drama?

15 May
 
Bridesmaids dress that me and 2 out of 3 bridesmaids love. Does it look like a dress you’d wear clubbing?

So I’ve asked 3 people to be bridesmaids. My cousin, my friend of 15 years and my fiance’s sister.

It’s too late to order dresses from a particular designer or anything, so we’re looking off the rack. I’m hoping for coral, and even though Milliner Blair Nadeau says its the color of the season, it’s been impossible to find the color in dress form. It’s easy to find in shirts for some reason.

So me and 2 bridesmaids (one was sick) spent the whole day Saturday 9-5 looking at dresses and finding styles that I’m fine with, but not a color I’m happy with. They ended up looking either very orange, or almost purple in the pictures I took.  Purple always makes the permabags under my eyes more prominent and makes me look dead. I can’t be near purple because I look awful. Especially not on my wedding day! We’ve already bought a ton of stuff in pink, and we can’t go orange because fiance is a redhead so he rightfully wants nothing to do with red or orange at the wedding.

One of the bridesmaids had to leave our shopping trip early, and me and one other ended up going to a different mall and finding a dress I was totally happy with! It’s the style I was hoping for and the color is much better than anything else we’ve seen. 

I sent the photo of the winning dress to the other two bridesmaids and one said she’s happy with this dress. The other said no. She said it looks more like a clubbing dress rather than a bridesmaid dress, which I don’t see at all. I have a dress that actually looks pretty much like it, but its in blue and I’ve worn it to cocktail occasions and never felt out of place.

She wants to try on dresses at David’s Bridal but I really, really hate the colors there and they look completely different on their website than they do in person. The pink looks like purple in person and the orange is mega orange. And I was so excited over this other dress, and 2 out of 3 bridesmaids are happy with it.

What do I do? I don’t want to order people what to wear, especially if they are spending their own money on it. But this is the dress I am happiest with and it only costs $70. Money is tight with the two bridesmaids who love this dress.

I was ready to settle with a dress style that I was just ok with so that we could find the color I liked. But this is the style I was hoping for AND the color too.

I was afraid of getting bridesmaids because I thought this would happen. What do I do now? 

I’ve spent every single day this week looking in different malls and different boutiques for dresses in a shade of pink that isn’t actually neon, purple, or orange or have a pattern.

Here’s the other 2 dresses we narrowed down this weekend.

The other two dresses. One too orange. One almost purple and that floral detail at the top looks kind of like a bib

 

If we still had time to order, I'd pick this Alfred Sung bridesmaid's dress in this color

People are suggesting buying from American websites, but I just checked, and anything in pink is sold out at the department stores. Besides, I’m sure the bridesmaids wouldn’t want to buy something without trying it on, because I know I wouldn’t. And the duty surprise at the border could make them crazy expensive.

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9 Responses to “I got bridesmaids…how to deal with dress drama?”

  1. snwbnny May 15, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    i think you should maybe think about getting your bridesmaids different types of dresses, but make sure the clothes are the same color. this way you have different types of dresses that fit your bridesmaids nicely 🙂 another thing is if your bridesmaids have different types of dresses in the same color it will make your wedding more interesting =) my cousin did her wedding this way and everyone loved it!

    • unhappy bride May 15, 2011 at 11:04 pm #

      the color is impossible to find. This is really the only one we could find in this color and we’ve driven around the entire city – and suburbs 😦

  2. cris of kiss my tulle May 15, 2011 at 10:53 pm #

    I’m going to assume that the hold out is the fiance’s sister. if so, explain the situation to him (putting a lot of emphasis on the whole $ issue and redhead coloring thing). Then make him talk to her. If she hears, “You’re the bridesmaid. Shut up and wear the damn dress.” from you – you’re a bitch and a bridezilla.

    From him, it’s just the facts.

    Good luck.

    • unhappy bride May 15, 2011 at 11:03 pm #

      that’s what I’m worried about! I don’t want to be the bitch and bridezilla, but its not my fault that it was the best we could find. Good advice, thank you!

  3. Jennifer (peachbride) May 15, 2011 at 11:00 pm #

    I really like that dress. It’s simple and classy. It’s difficult to tell your fsil too bad so maybe you should tell her that if she doesn’t like the dress that she can try others from the same line. I wouldn’t want her trying to go to David’s either. Although, different shades of pink could be a great idea too though. I do like the other 2 you found as well. The ruffled one is fun but the halter one is my favorite.

  4. Ariella May 15, 2011 at 11:16 pm #

    This is definitely a tough situation. I think you should sit down and have an honest talk with her, explaining your reasons for choosing the particular dress. I don’t think you’re out of line by deciding what dress she has to wear but I understand the complexity of the situation. I think you should tell her that if she doesn’t like the dress, she can find a new one but must clear it with you before making any purchases. I understand that you don’t want to come off sounding like a bitch, but the fact that she’s causing so much drama over a dress makes her a maidzilla. Maybe if you have an honest talk with her in person it will help her see things you way.

    I love the dress and it does have some wearability which is great. A little cartigan an she can wear it to plenty of other events. She should be thrilled you picked such a pretty and inexpensive dress.

  5. Blair May 16, 2011 at 12:35 am #

    I’m so sorry you are having such a hard time finding a suitable dress for your bridesmaids in your colour of choice! Coral is the colour of the season, that being said, most canadian retailers are still a year behind in trends which is probably why you aren’t seeing it much.

    The dress is cute and the right shoes and the right accessories and the proper fit, it will make a great bridesmaids dress.

    I really don’t think that the one bridesmaid should be having such a hard time over this dress. Its still. The price is right and its cute and definitely does not look like a “clubbing” dress. I’m beginning to wonder if she’s ever been to a club? There is too much fabric on that dress to be appropriate for richmond street!

    Goodluck dear!

  6. michelleMichelle May 16, 2011 at 5:13 pm #

    What Cris said, down to the letter. This chick has no business making such difficulties on what, last time I checked, wasn’t her wedding. Hopefully fiance can run some interference…is he willing to do that?

  7. ChicagoFriend May 17, 2011 at 3:53 pm #

    10 years from now all that will matter is the pretty matching dresses that you wanted in your wedding pictures. And if the one bridesmaid gets to go clubbing in the dress, then tell her that’s an added bonus for the dress that she gets to wear it more than once!

    I had to make my own bridesmaid dress for a friend’s wedding once. It was a terrible color on me, and it looked hand made (I’m no seamstress). But, it was her wedding, and I made it & wore it. It’s your wedding, so you get to pick! 🙂

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