Dear wedding people: get yourselves together!!!!

6 May

Sometimes I feel like I am taking crazy pills. Why can’t people pick up the damn phone when it is their job to do it?! If I don’t pick up the phone at work, I get fired. Why haven’t you?

Dear lady who has to set up our wedding rehearsal:

It was really nice talking to you two weeks ago. Too bad it took me a month to get a hold of you. When we talked, you said you’d get back to me confirming the church was available for the time we wanted. Two weeks later and I have to basically harass you once a day in hopes you’ll give me a simple answer.

How hard is this? We can’t finalize stuff because you won’t call us. You are holding up:

  • Decorations
  • Rehearsal dinner booking and invitations
  • Readings and Music choices (it’s Catholic so we need permission)
  • Hiring of musicians
  • Dress code questions

You are causing us mega stress and I can’t put down the cookies because of you. Thanks for calling my voicemail today and clogging it up with your endless message ranting about flower delivery times. That would be great, if we were having any. BUT WE’RE NOT.  You still didn’t answer my questions.


And I hate nothing more than email conversations with wedding vendors that make no sense: Here’s the “I ignore your question” tactic:

Unhappy Bride: Will you work at my wedding and how much do you cost?

Vendor: We will work and it will be fabulous!

Unhappy Bride: Sure, but how much do you cost? What is the minimum time we’d need to book you for?

Vendor: “We will arrive early.”  Then he gives a big long answer justifying why they need to get there early but won’t say how early they”ll arrive or how much they’ll charge us.


OR there’s the “I don’t bother offering you another suggestion even though you’re paying me to do so:”

Unhappy Bride: I really don’t want to take pictures in place X you recommended because it:

a) looks like a dungeon,

b) it is literally around the corner from my workplace. 30 seconds away. I really can’t spend the limited time we have for photos talking to coworkers on their way back from the pizza or burrito joint holding a greasy bag.

c) You think it will be easy taking pictures at the subway station nearby at 4 p.m. on a Friday. Are you insane?  The subway is already a sardine can when I take it at 6: 30 a.m. You clearly don’t live in the same city I do.

Vendor: You should really get your pictures taken in place X. If you don’t like that suggestion, google some ideas.

*Unhappy Bride had already googled, but googles again, then asks whether vendor would have any issues with the new ideas.*

Vendor: These are bad locations. Have you thought about having your pictures in place X (the same place as before)?

Unhappy Bride *Insert screams here*  I am starting to identify with bridezillas. How can you not scream when you have to deal with this circle of crazy?

How do I handle this?

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