Shower money gift missing: What would you do?

5 May

Please read this post because I need unbiased advice.

So my friend had a shower a few weeks ago.

I got her a cash gift as Italian people do.

Here’s the card I bought her.

Got this at Hallmark. Thought the card was so pretty, I had to take a picture, and write in it with fancy gold pen.

 So when I got to the shower there was no money box yet so a whole bunch of us put our cards on a table. Then the money box appeared and all the envelopes were gone, and the maid of honor put all the cards inside the box. 

My friend had her shower, everything was fine and dandy, but she didn’t open any of the cards. I have no clue why. I could see if maybe you don’t want to lose the money in the envelope, but I thought it would have been nice for her to read the cards in front of everyone. 

So yesterday she asks me if I gave her a shower gift because she looked everywhere and couldn’t find my card.  I got her $50 cash (which is a lot more than some of the other gifts she got). Great. Where did the card and the money go? If she had opened all the envelopes in front of everyone there wouldn’t have been a problem because we would have looked for it then but its probably long gone two weeks later.

So what do I do now? It makes me look bad. I want her to have the money, but I have my own wedding to pay for and we’re spending a lot of money on her out of town wedding this weekend on hotels, gas, and the cash bar. Is it my fault that they didn’t have the money box?

So do I give her an extra $50 to make up for the missing shower gift? 

What do we do? Thanks for your advice.

My lesson: I’m writing a check for her wedding gift.

2 Responses to “Shower money gift missing: What would you do?”

  1. michelle May 6, 2011 at 4:08 pm #

    If this were my situation, unfortunately I wouldn’t feel I could do anything other than give another $50. I know the timing is terrible, but not doing so would have the air of retracting a gift. No it’s not your fault that the cash box came out later, but not giving a new gift has the potential to come off as a judgment on the way the shower was handled.
    Good luck wwith a trickys situation! And also remember, email money transfers are golden alternatives to cash or checques!

    • unhappy bride May 8, 2011 at 11:45 pm #

      You’re right Michelle, Oh wise one! At the wedding yesterday, they had the box out early. And I wrote a cheque! Felt it was more personal than an email transfer, though I’m going to start looking into those. Great idea.

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