Royal wedding overkill 2: the statistics and underwear

26 Apr


Kate Middleton has to walk a whole FOUR MINUTES down the aisle at her wedding. THE HORROR!!! The news was complaining that she should get comfortable shoes. Poor thing. Imagine all the blisters she could get in 240 seconds.

In Canada and the U.S., we are getting BOMBARDED with Royal Wedding stuff. Moreso than England. We’re getting double the wedding junk that the Brits themselves are getting. Here’s proof.  And the Brits seem to be more interested in going on vacation than staying in town for the royal wedding.

So folks, the Royal wedding is this week. If you’re going to freak out about it, this is the time to do it. Not six months ago like the North American media did.

Dear newspaper: Do you really think people are going to sign up for your royal wedding wakeup call service? I bet a bunch of kids are going to sign up their friends for a nice 3 a.m. wakeup call prank. Smart. Since when did you become the Monarchist League?

This whole media circus is why I would hate to be a princess. Sure you get to wear a lot of bling, eat expensive food and go on extravagant trips, but you really get no peace.

You know what happened to Diana right? The paparazzi chased her to the point where her car crashed and she died.

Anyway, I kind of feel sorry for Kate Middleton.

I saw a headline yesterday about her going shopping for underwear. Are you kidding? The woman can’t even buy intimates without you flashing in her face? I wonder how many people actually clicked on that link.  I’m giving it to you here because I believe people should read things for themselves,  but it doesn’t mean I approve of it. Incidentally, I learned about this from a Canadian newspaper that republished the underwear article. It has since removed it from their website. Probably got a ton of hate mail.

Imagine your face plastered all over tea bags, a doll that looks like you, or as my mom who works in a store found yesterday, a credit card with your engagement picture on it. That’s right, your royal subjects can swipe your face when they’re buying chips at the convenience store. Some British tourist had one and bought men’s Chino pants with them.

By the way, is the poor woman not eating? She looks dangerously thin. Dear Kate, you don’t have to be bridorexic to please others! But it seems she’s been this skinny for a while. This link is from 2007 and shows the difference. Weight criticism is another reason why I’d hate to be a princess.

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