Last year fiance moved to the U.S. from Canada for work and it was at the height of the recession. I couldn’t get a job there. I stayed in Canada. There was a lot of nervous eating. I gained weight. I am not “fat” by any means at the size 8 or 10 I am now. I just feel uncomfortable in my skin with extra weight I am not used to.
I lost a lot of weight when I had the flu earlier this year. I’ve gained it all back again through nervous eating. Every time one of the wedding vendors tries to gouge us, someone tries to make me justify a wedding choice, or any time I think about all this work I have to do, I stuff some yogourt or granola bars in my mouth. If I’m not at home, the only option that’s easy to get a hold of is junk food. I eat very healthy otherwise.
Ceremony musicians just quoted me $450 for 1.5 hours of work. I had two bowls of cereal.
I don’t want to be Kate Middleton skinny. I would like to feel comfortable and “normal” in my own skin (i.e. back to the size I am used to), but its not going to happen at this rate. I work very irregular hours that change at the last minute (so irregular that I sometimes have to call friends or fiance and cancel dinner plans because I have to deal with a crisis). So going to any sort of fitness class tends to be impossible. And cardio classes are really the only thing that motivates me. Yoga, and using gym machines bores me to death. But the problem is if I do end up finishing work in time to attend a class, I’m too tired from work to get off my butt.
I’ve never believed in diets because I think they’re unhealthy, and coming from an Italian family, its never going to happen anyway.
Anyway I’m worried that now I won’t even fit into my dress, which will come two weeks before the wedding, giving me zero time to fix it if there’s a problem. I didn’t do anything silly like order it too small, but who knows what can happen.
Then there’s dealing with every guest scrutinizing the bride on her wedding day. More stress. I’ll brb, just going to get some cookies…