I get to look like a friendless loser on my wedding day

17 Apr

I would have picked these bridesmaids dresses in this colour. Brighter than I would like, but the closest thing to a lighter pink is actually bright orange.


So as you may have read recently, I’ve been struggling with choosing bridesmaids. I really don’t want any. But groom already chose 3 dudes and if I don’t pick bridesmaids now, I’ll feel like a friendless loser at the altar. I know we could just take some dudes and have them stand on my side too, but deep down, I’ll know the truth and just feel bad about it.

There have been several bridesmaid candidates, and maybe I’m just being too picky.

I’m pretty sure about one person, but I fear she’ll ditch us and run off with her boyfriend and disappear when we need her to walk down the aisle.

Another two friends I would have asked have gone missing and haven’t even responded to my requests for their address to mail the invitation to. Thanks. *removes names from list.*

Other potential ones live in Vancouver, San Francisco, Switzerland, or the French Alps. Rehearsals would be so organized and unstressful.

Even just coordinating their dresses would be a nightmare considering we are so behind in wedding planning in general. (Only a 7 month engagement, and I was sick for two of those months. And fiance lives in another city. Yeah, planning is fun all by yourself when you don’t have a car or lunch breaks too).

One other candidate is pregnant and her baby is due a week after the wedding, so it would be really risky to include her, even though I’d love to and she’d be really excited.

Another one can be a downer at times. I’m fine with helping her through her panic attacks any other day, but I just want a stress free day when I get married. Sorry if that makes me a selfish bitch.

Another friend just had a baby and is a single mom who is overwhelmed as it is.

Another one I am not close with, and I felt kind of slighted at her wedding (long story, but basically I was left babysitting someone all alone for much of the night), so I don’t feel like being reminded of that experience at my own wedding.

So combine this all with the fact that I’ve never really had one friend that has stuck with me through thick and thin, and I’ve been spending a few sleepless nights (literally) racking my brain to pick SOMEONE, so I can shut people up and now just balance with fiance’s dudes and make myself feel better.

I just have a feeling that this would become a logistical nightmare.

Anyway, I still hadn’t decided on bridesmaids when me and my mom went to David’s Bridal today. It’s supposed to be the last-minute place to buy bridesmaids dresses.  Of course today I found out they need 2.5 months. How is that last minute? There are less than 10 weeks to our wedding so either I choose bridesmaids now and teleport them over to the store in the next 24 hours or gamble that one of the department stores will have nice dresses in the next few weeks. This ain’t gonna happen.

So folks, if Fiance hadn’t already picked people, no bridesmaids would’ve been fine. But since he’s got 3 dudes, and now I’ll have no one, I’m just going to look and feel like the loser at the altar, and look at that empty space reminding me of how I don’t have any really close friends. All of it in the dress that I’m only half happy about.

The fun never stops at this wedding.

Sorry for such a long rant. I’m pretty down today about this.


3 Responses to “I get to look like a friendless loser on my wedding day”

  1. Michelle April 19, 2011 at 6:54 am #

    Oh, I really want to come find you and give you a hug after reading this. I’m so sorry you’re so down about this. Most of all, though, I wish your friends would recognize your potential request for the honour that it should be and not burden you with behaviour that’s just flat-out not appropriate. The fact that you’re even concerned about it happening is disheartening. But you never know, this absurd bridle industry may turn out to have a flip side. Rightly or wrongly, people acknowledge weddings to be the bride’s special day and often act accordingly. You may find that, just for once, people are able to set aside their own issues and put you first.

    • unhappybride April 22, 2011 at 9:30 am #

      Thanks for your supportive comment! When you’re back from vacation I will collect that hug. I guess my problem is that I don’t even want to *ask* them. I’m sure that if I did, they wouldn’t say no. I just know that people have other stuff going on you know? I don’t want to be a bother.

  2. Jennifer May 3, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    I would be your bridesmaid in a second! Anyone would be lucky to be a part of your wedding in that kind of role. You will find the special people who deserve the role, don’t stress. Hugs.

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