Three months away from the wedding and people keep
asking me or pretty much demanding to know who my maid of honor is or why I haven’t chosen bridesmaids yet.
What’s it to you? I’ve got enough wedding stuff to do, I don’t need to hear nag, nag, nag too.
I don’t want bridesmaids. I don’t have a sister or a friend who has really stuck with me through thick and thin. That only person is my mom, and she definitely won’t do it. I don’t want to put a hierarchy on my friends. To avoid creating said hierarchy, I’d have to pick five or six bridesmaids. Who makes the cut? Like I don’t already have a freaking boatload of decisions to make with this wedding.
I understand that people move on or change, and that’s the way that life goes and its fine, but why am I obligated to have people stand up with me when I’d rather be there with fiance only? You know, the guy who is joining me in paying a ton of money to show the world that he’s always going to be with me.
After months and months of everyone trying to convince me, I still feel the same. I don’t want bridesmaids. Besides, it’s just extra stuff to do to sort out their dresses. But fiance wants dudes, so again, this dear wedding means I’m stuck making yet another decision I really don’t want to make.
Either way, aren’t bridesmaids supposed to throw you showers and parties? My own wedding stuff is enough of a pain in the ass, I don’t need to offload any onto them. And I don’t think anyone would take the initiative to throw a party anyway, especially if they live on the other side of the country. I can’t expect them to do that. And my friend who was a bridesmaid for her own friend’s wedding said she spent a boatload of money on pre-wedding parties. I can’t expect them to do this either.
My other friend is from England. When her sister got married there, she had no bridesmaids. That’s right, not even her own sister. Apparently no bridesmaids is normal in Europe. Too bad we can’t all live there, so that people wouldn’t ask incessant questions to force me to justify my decision for my own freaking wedding. It’s exhausting.
I think I’m going to cave and pick someone just to shut them all up. Better to suck it up and pick than to hear “who is going to be your maid of honor?” again. But how do you pick out of all your friends?
And question: If we go this route, who is the “witness” when you sign the papers?
Here’s some other peeps online who had similar troubles
EDIT: New comments today: “If you don’t have bridesmaids things will look unbalanced and people will think you have no friends.” Except the whole wedding will be filled with friends!!!!! Ugh!!!